Sunday, November 28, 2010

Break Ke Baad - Review through a play

[Kunal Kohli, the genius behind Thoda PyarThoda Magic, (the celluloid wonder, which gave JK Rowling the wicked idea of summoning a love triangle between Harry, Ron and Hermione), sitting in his plush Santa Cruz office with his assistant Danish Aslam, the eventual director of Break ke Baad] 

KK - Man I feel like taking a holiday asap.

DA [cunning smile] - Boss, tickets booked for Australia boss.
KK - Jackass, are you kidding me, you think I will go on a holiday down under with you. !! Get off me. 
DA - Down Under ? Sir, aap to galat samajh liye !
KK - I meant Australia, you nincompoop.
DA - Oh OK, but sir, if you take me along with you, I will direct a movie for you sir. Only for you. And no charge sir. Absolutely Free. Sir, making you an offer you can't refuse. 

KK - You will direct a movie ? You ? Look at you lifting lines from movies like Godfather and delivering them like a pimp. Tell me who made you my assistant ? 
DA [deadpan] - Boss, you 
KK - Anyways [awkward silence], You know I don't travel without some nice company [sly smile]
DA - Sir deepika mam is already in Australia, and has spared us some dates. Sir, Danish knows your fondness for...
KK - OK OK, but I hope you also know my fondness for [throat itching sound]
DA - Of course sir, the most chikna available. 
KK - Hope you will make his character put some lipstick.
DA - Of course sir [suggestively pulls out a maybelline pink lipstick from his pocket]
KK - [winks]  He will come cheap, right ? 
DA - Very much sir..These days his dearest uncle has also deserted him to do his own marketing. He is in my pocket. [Playing pocket billiards]
KK - Dude, you had this all worked out. I am impressed. Hope you have been equally thorough with the story, plot and the script of this movie you plan to direct.
DA - [Gives a Bemused Blank Expression, thinks for a long time and says]  No Sir, I actually haven't even started. My Xbox 360 has kept me way too busy. 
KK - Unbelievable...Who trained you to be a director ? 
DA - [deadpan and a bit apologetic this time]  Sir, you only. And After Hum-Tum's super-duper-platinum hitness, I realised that plots and scripts are extremely overrated and irrelevant concepts anyway.
KK - My boy, you are a fast learner. Never mind, we will get a lot of time in the flight. We will write the story on the back of those immigration forms they hand out. [laughing and exchanging Hi5's with DA]. So when do we fly ?  
DA - Next week Sir. Sir, chikna and you have been booked in business class. [winks] while I and the crew will be travelling economy. 
KK - This day is ending well. [stands and stretches arms and legs]  Let me take a break from work this week then. Milte hai, break ke baad
DA - Sirji, what an idea, sirji

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